I would love a french movie romance

Can I be your everything? Can we lose the world in each other?

My brain won't stop spinning.. spinning around in this dizzy circle of nothingness. A pit of nothing that extends to nowhere where noone has gone. It's tiring.

Im exhausted. Mentally, physically, socially... what have you. My motivation has dried up like the paper I wrote endless notes on. Notes that I must take to heart, consider, question, memorize and be able to spit up back in the exact order with some context behind them that makes it seem like I understand the topic.

"Lean back on a broken willow tree"

I don't understand things sometimes. School work , people, what have you. And it makes me overwhelmed when anger is pervasive and pressed onto others... I really just think a good cry is what I need right now. Im just feeling deflated.. not angry, or sad... but numb... and just.. unfeeling. It's a little unnerving.

Im worried that I am complaining too much so I apologize. My thoughts run with me sometimes and I have a hard time finding their tails and catching them again. Reeling them back in can be a task too. It's interesting to watch them dip into your ears and back again.

These thoughts are like small fairies. They speak in tongue and make you think of a whole list of things when you try to take hold of them. Sometimes the talknig is all at once and you have to consider one before another. I think sprites may be there as well.. little curious fellows with pointed ears and a coniving smile. They are disastrous and tend to pick out the worst outcomes for me and the worst choices seem to be the best in their eyes. I try to ignore them, but they're beautiful.

Have you ever been dipped in so many thoughts you feel as though you were just dragged down with the ideas? That the attempts are soggy instead of fresh. And instead of passing lovingly through the breeze like a plastic bag or leaves.. they just sit there in a heap like a sock someone dropped in a puddle. For whatever reason someone would lose a sock and not a shoe and a sock or just a shoe in a puddle is beyond me.

I miss looking out and seeing rainbows that have crashed to the ground. In eery crop circles that seep and ooze in abnormal shapes. But they're brilliant.

The rain is cold and full of winter, the sun is trying to warm up the ground and melt what's left of the snow. Small flowers are trying to push through but it's hard to fall such a distance and not get chilly. I think they need sweaters...

I really would just love a room to myself to sit and do things I like to do. This one isn't big enough.

I feel as though I live in a shoebox sometimes.